Last week I attended funeral/memorial services for a friend who died unexpectedly. His wife died a few years earlier of cancer. They have three young adult children. Friday and Saturday services were held at a church. I attended Saturday's services. The church was overflowing with 'ohana and friends. After the kahu spoke, attendees were invited to share their thoughts. Two of his coworkers spoke about him and had everyone nodding in agreement and laughing about his always being right even when he was wrong. I shed many tears of sorrow and joy during this part of the service. His oldest daughter thanked everyone for coming and sharing their aloha with them. The children sang a few songs of which one really broke my heart wide open. It was a song that the oldest daughter wrote for her father after her mothers' death. She mentioned that this would be the last time she would sing it. While she sang with aloha, her younger sister danced the hula with aloha. I tried to hold back my tears but was overwhelmed by their courage.The oldest daughter mentioned the big kuleana that they all have. They were brought up by Hawaiian parents who were cultural practitioners. Their father was so proud of them. Whenever they met someone, the person already knew who they were because their father told everyone all about his children and their activities. She mentioned that this is her biggest fear, not being able to carry out her parents legacy of aloha. Their parents are loved by many in the community. If the children need anything, all they have to do is ask. Their parents gave so much. The community will give back in the spirit of kahiau-to give without expecting anything in return.Last night I attended a 1 year anniversary for a friend who died a year ago. She died of cancer at the young age of 44. At the sign in table was her urn, a ceramic ipu with a maile lei draped around it and also placed on a easel was a large photo collage of her. She was definitely there in spirit to greet us as we entered. The hall was decorated beautifully with pink and white balloons, pink ribbons and little white Christmas trees. Stepping into the hall was a joyous feeling.The community center was filled with 'ohana and friends who, ate, drank and laughed together in honor of a wonderful woman. Her sisters sang a few of her favorite songs and shared some of their favorite stories about her. Her husband was very appreciative of the outpouring of love shown to him and his 'ohana. He has had a rough year without her but I think this evening helped him to celebrate life. He has two beautiful children that bring him much joy.Life is to be celebrated. While writing this blog, a friend that I talk to 2 or 3 times a year called to catch up on things. I had him on the speakerphone while I continued to write. He asked me how I'm doing and I told him that I was working on some school assignments hinting that I wanted to keep our conversation short. I even thought about telling him that I would call him back when I realized I needed to make time to listen to him with sincerity. I stopped and listened to him share about his recent travels and some of his challenges while traveling. My friend was paralyzed 40 years ago from a motor vehicle accident. He had just returned from a class reunion where he was told by a few classmates that he was living a life that they don't think they could manage. He went on to tell me that he shared with them that it's all about choices and making the best of any situation. I was getting impatient because I wanted to finish my assignments. I was having two conversations at the same time, one with him and one with myself. I had to let go of control and enjoy the conversation with this very caring and kind man.As soon as our conversation ended I resumed writing this blog when somehow my text was highlighted and I pressed enter only to have my words disappear. Somehow, the very thing I thought important disappeared. I tried several things to retrieve it but it was gone. Now what? What are my choices. Exactly what he was talking about. Get over it and move forward. Persevere. Make the best of the situation. Have faith. So that's what I amdoing now. I'm no longer talking about this blog but thinking about some other situations that need clearing. I hope tonight while I sleep answers will come so that I can live aloha and celebrate life.
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