I am Hawaiian/Filipino/German/Irish, so Hapa, but anything could be contested since I was adopted in the 80’s with poor records and raised “American” by Caucasian Americans (as a white American). What I do know is that I undoubtedly carry an ancestry on my skin that has always set me apart from my Caucasian western communities. And what’s felt different in my heart all my life, I’m finally finding connection to in my Hawaiian roots. I do not take this lightly. I have much to learn, and so much to do in this journey.
My Intentions are as follows:
- To learn about and further connect to my Kanaka Maoli roots, culture, and traditions
- To learn about the history of Hawaii, and Hawaiians
- To learn about Issues facing Hawaiians today
- To connect with Kanaka Maoli
I intend to do these things with the following actions:
- By seeking information from the source
- By doing my own research
- By standing up against the ethnocide of Hawaiian Culture (check out my first attempt against "Huna" here)
- By standing down and listening when other Kanaka Maoli are speaking
I know many mis-claim “Hawaiian” as “having lived in the {state}”, or “embracing the aloha spirit”. Some feel “Hawaiian” means “50% blood Quantum (?!?)”, and others feel it means local. I cannot define it for anyone, and my displaced history sadly resolves me of the power to define it even for myself.
But what I can say is that there is something I feel in my bones, a pain of ancestry, and the power of resilience, that I believe connects me to something I don’t even have a language for. Seeing pictures of other Hawaiians finally feels like looking into familiar faces for the first time, a family album with no names or stories but connection.
As of now my mana'o is small, and I can claim and own up to my own ignorance here. But I have been feeding my mana'o with the written words of Mary Kawena Pukui, Queen Liliuokalani, Lisa Kahaleole Hall, Kristiana Kahakauwila, and Moke Kupihea, as well as the many posts here on Maoliworld. I also occasionally, (bashfully and awkwardly) seek the advice of the one Hawaiian Elder I know in my town, when looking for legitimate understanding.
I have also definitely learned that there are few sources by non-hawaiians (tho the occasional rare gem), that offer anything useful at all.
Your thoughts are welcome. I only eventually hope to earn and then own my identity here.
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