Posted by Kaapuikinaea on September 15, 2009 at 6:15am
This was brought on by a recent argument I had with my roommate who is originally from Texas. He was furious that I did something without consulting him first. He said that I should've "communicated" this issue with him. This made me again, wonder if I really had a communication problem since this isn't the first time I've been told that. But after 3 days of pondering about it I realized a lot has to do with where I come from."Haole Style" (meaning Western Concept, but obviously initiated by White or Haoles) is all about communicating. As I told my roommate, that is so over rated and regardless if I had communicated my intentions before, or as the result was currently (that caused us to fight) that the end would still be the same. And it's true. Here's how I wrote it out.Start - - - > - - - > PROBLEM - - - > - - - > **Resolution** - - > - - > EndResult/GoalYou have 4 parts. 1) beginning, 2) the result that you want, 3) the obstacle or the problem & 4) the resolution or the remedy to the problem #3.Haoles like to COMMUNICATE, and to them that is important. That we must talk about it. What do they talk about? They talk about all parts, 1, 2, 3 & 4. They just love to talk! Hence why we see them as bullshitters or whatever concept we have of them, they like to boast about themselves, etc. That's because in Haole Style, individuality is important. Acknowledgement of one's accomplishments showing how much they've earned is important to them. But I digress.And what do we have? Ho'oponopono. Do we talk about kukakuka the problem? Maybe nowadays, but that's a different concept. Instead, Hawaiian concept you have ho'oponopono. This has obviously been important in a communal society like ours & today that concept seems to exist still. The whole idea of "community" or "ohana" is a major part of all of our lives, regardless of ethnicity. That is what Hawaii is about.Just that word alone - hooponopono, to correct, to fix, says a lot. With that in mind, the RESOLUTION is important. It seems everything else comes into play, but in the Haole Style, it is important to identify all parts of the situation first. Not the same for us.Here's an example, the only one that I could remember, but it goes back to when I was 11 or 12 yrs. old. My brother, in his terrible twos, spilled a cup of juice. My step-mother yelled out, "Oh dammit, Kalani...quick, go get...da kine!" And I remember just leaving and getting a towel. In a communal society, that's how we function. We are all parts working to do good for the whole. I'm not saying that at 11 I was smart or anything, just that I, like everyone else I expect in the islands, grew up in that type of environment.In a Haole situation, it probably would've gone something like this. "oh dammit, darn, the baby spilled the cup of juice. Geez, oh great, the carpet, the juice will stain the carpet. Uh....quick, someone, get something to wipe it with before it's too late!" So the Haole identified what had happened, then even described what could possibly happen if no action would take place, which would be the staining part. Then finally, a resolution to rectify the problem, by getting something to wipe up the mess, the stain could be prevented.So my roommate was pissed that I decided to switch rooms, allowing him to sleep in peace, rather than be close to the kitchen and hear me make a lot of noise. He said I should've communicated that issue first, even though he bitched about me being loud in the morning and worse, thought I was doing that on purpose to piss him off. (Yes, some people like to put blame, but that's not what I'm addressing here lol)Instead of communicating this problem with him first, I decided to quickly remedy the situation by fixing it, with what I thought would be the best thing to accomodate him. As you can see, we have 2 different concepts.
The way you are raised and what is important no matter how little or big - it's how I think most people put a perspective on things. A fact fact conclusion or a matter of fact personality would be simple but if you're a socialite the yada yada would come out at the same time...lol. My dad was to the point...my mom has stories attached to things so I grew up with hearing both sides; then on extended visits or weekenders with grandparents they were more listeners than talkers. West, East, Mid Western have these personalities.
This new generation "wants to know" first hand "just because"...lol. If you have a why bother mentality
information is enough, you get it and no problem take care of it why make it into drama yeah? Gotta laugh
it's there to allow us to be tested maybe but it is a noisy irriation yeah? SMILE
Because, haole mentality, they think about how the work can be done, who isn't doing their part, etc. Me, I just do um, then I get frustrated b/c...well, I don't talk about it, I just do it. lol
Oh and if you *fast* some local people extrapolate it to being rude.
I was explaining this to my coworker & how even I am reminded to S L O W D O W N w/ things that I do. lol That's just how it is. Or else, people get upset w/ me, they find it that I am trying to prove that I am superman or something, but that's not it at all.
Comments
This new generation "wants to know" first hand "just because"...lol. If you have a why bother mentality
information is enough, you get it and no problem take care of it why make it into drama yeah? Gotta laugh
it's there to allow us to be tested maybe but it is a noisy irriation yeah? SMILE
I was explaining this to my coworker & how even I am reminded to S L O W D O W N w/ things that I do. lol That's just how it is. Or else, people get upset w/ me, they find it that I am trying to prove that I am superman or something, but that's not it at all.
iwi-stepper. lol
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