Posted by wahineilikea on March 11, 2008 at 10:24pm
i imagine you at age seven, running wild and free through grass and ocean.your hair wild in the wind, ehu, catching sunlight and challenging those who would call you impostor.your heart marked you what your blood did not. maori.i can hear your voice, distinct with the sounds of being young and unburdened.i am afraid of becoming you now.you laughed when you told me the story of your childhood, and how you were teased.it made my heart hurt that you still pretended to be unscathed.they were cruel to you, forcing you to hide the parts of yourself you loved best.but you hid those things too well and too long.i don't know you anymore, i don't think you can find yourself.where are you?it was an unfair life for you, an unfair childhood.you were scared and hurt. maori.i will not be that child. i am not ashamed.i consider trying to help you, buti am half-afraid you will bite my hand,half-afraid you will accept my helpand pull me down with you.would it break your heart to admit this all?would it be worth it to have those pieces of self back?if it seems like i hate you, or i am jealous of you,i am not.i just can't comprehend the pain you dealt with,i refuse to contemplate losing all the things which you have lost.one day i hope, though i don't hold my breath,you will find your way back. maori.
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