Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the
last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take
the words back...Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My
husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without
thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start behavin g "right now" she
would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will
tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
thing I heard as the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my
taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to g o pott y in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh
Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clean
clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you
have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent
over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me
feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the futur e,
likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow, but don't
get any?
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not
only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were
laughing so hard!
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