TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT AT THE OFFICE, AREN'T:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
5. HMMMMMMMMM...I think it's out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but at the office it isn't:
1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!
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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN LAW, AREN'T:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but in law isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?
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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF, BUT AREN'T:
10. Damn...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, in a round golf but isn't:
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN LAW, AREN'T:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, but in law isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?
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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF, BUT AREN'T:
10. Damn...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty, in a round golf but isn't:
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first
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there were three fisherman stranded at sea:
1) Chinese
2) Hawaiian
3) Portuguese
they were starved, without water, and finally caught a fish, a large beautiful talking fish who promised each a wish if they let her free.
They let her free.
The Chinese man wished to be back home, among his relatives and dining on a 12 course Chinese meal.....POOF! he disappeared, found himself back with relatives and with a tasty banquet before him.
The Hawaiian man wished to be back at home with his relatives and friends, a big luau/banquet with kalua pig, the works and marvelous entertainment.......POOF! he disappeared, found himself back with his relatives and friends at a luau, a large feast.
The Portuguese man said, "oh, I miss my friends, I wish they were back with me."
aloha.
Reference: English Forums/Delphiforums.com, Frank DeLima, Carlin...........
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http://www.ericdelore.com/fun/bush/bush.html
Cheeky political satire.
http://www.lumosity.com/landing_pages/42
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