Where's the Aloha?

In all my life living in Hawaii, its strange for me to see so many sad, mad, stressed people walking around in town, driving, or working in Hawaii now days. I remember seeing more smiles when paying for my bill, asking for directions, letting someone pass me on the road or as I'm shopping. Maybe it's my own expectations, or my Hawaiian lifestyle, but being helpful and cheerful went hand in hand if you're in customer service. Being courteous and respectful saved time and face when dealing w/ irate people. Kindness was not confused w/ weakness, but associated to understanding and generosity. What happened to simply being welcoming instead of being suspicious of strangers? Why do I need to gaze a little longer at the young lady serving me to trust that her smile is genuine and not commercial? How I miss those days without locks on my front door. Today, even, I still cannot understand how an older lady on a wheelchair is left on the street and homeless, and I would be deemed wrong by law to pack her in my car and take her home w/me with out "proper authority" to do so. I have to be satisfied doing little things to remind people of the power of a little Aloha. Like picking up the litter I come across while walking through the beach, park, etc. Or helping out a stranger who's carrying a large load. Or even just giving a red faced, exhausted tourist who finally reached his hawaiian destination, a good old fashioned "Aloha!" and a smile to be grateful that he is adding to our economy if anything, for the hope that he shares a positive experience upon his return home, which in turn helps to perpetuate Hawaii State's reputation as the State of Aloha. And if we are to keep that reputation, the state I'm talking about should be our state of mind as well. You've heard the saying "what goes around comes around" or "do unto others as you would want done to you", or " the golden rule". Aloha is more than what or how it is expressed or given, but also how it is received. For Aloha, when given freely, is returned with interest and enjoyed by the person that offers it as well as the person receiving it. So, to answer the question of where's the Aloha? You may need to look deeper in the next person who you encounter or you may just need to see it in your own actions. If Aloha is to survive now days, we cannot let go of what we have still alive in our hearts today. Teach, show example of caring, respect, understanding, helpfulness, kindness, hopefulness, any way you can. Sometimes the quiet things are forgotten, and then hard to replace when we find they are actually, truly gone. Aloha kakou. Malama pono Annie

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  • in regards to where the ALOHA went,it was taken away when we were sent to school taught in the western way,if you look at the western history,it is a sad but true fact that their past is so confusing to them that they do not really know where they came from,and it is in their nature to take what they want,by any means nessisary,by hook or by crook.
    to know where you are going,you must first know where you came from,

    to those of you who need to ask WHERE the ALOHA went,then to me YOU must first look deep in your heart,and soul,because only you can answer that question,

    because if you really think about it,ALOHA is not just a word,it can't be sold,it can't be spread,like butter or jam.

    ALOHA is a way of life that our ancestors LIVED

    but alas,TOO much western influence upon the younger generation,and now some act JUST LIKE THEM!!!!!!!

    but to all who remember how it was when we were growing up,remember one thing,it was the laws of the white man,and the fear of retribution that took away our power as parents to disipline our children the way that we were,hence there is no respect,and therefore the aloha spirit lays dormant in each of us

    inoa ole
    • Thank you for your mana'o. maika'i! We carry the Aloha inside, from what we've learned, and lived.
      When I asked where is the Aloha, i knew that the answers would come from those with the deepest conviction to defend it's presence and power, and from those who knew that the question should never have been asked. Aloha is a needed element in this world and extends beyond social protocol, but more importantly towards our environment and ecology as kuaina of our islands. Although a government may govern, it cannot feel or express the bonds of ohana, or extend our time on earth and does not determine what we leave behind.
      I've learned to greet with " Aloha Ka'ua" in understanding that there is the Spirit of Aloha between myself and that other person. It's a natural human reaction if you respect everything about life as much as Hawaiians do.
      It's probable that the way of Aloha is the basics of most religions and thus was around before most government systems anyway. hmmmmmm.
      I don't think it's in any peril, but it is being patronized constantly by those that never lived it.
      The World may describe it as something phenomenal and its strange to hear the haole say it when they finally understand it. but its a good thing.~ It's a higher understanding - wekiu maopopo pono?
      Aloha may be so preciosa to some, it may be hard to share it because of fear that it will be scrutinized and misinerpreted and spit out with derogatory remarks like a haole eating ahi poki, squid luaui or poi for the first time. They don't know what they're missing or what's good for them. "Das alright, no can help, but bumbai they learn" my dad would say. But I never learned to like the taste of wana myself...Although, at my age today, I think back and wish I could have enjoyed the wana and hot rice with him. So much like Aloha, it can really be overwhelming for some but it will leave a enjoyable moment to be remembered none the less and you know, life is made up of moments. And if we are fortunate to live it every day, then we have more to give, no?
      So let the Aloha flow. Pump the puuwai! Aloha is to the soul as rain is to the garden.
      I will be closing this discussion and have thoroughly enjoyed everyone's expressions and genuine Aloha
      Please continue your journeys with Peace and Aloha. Malama kakou ka aina, Aloha ke akua:)
      ~Annie
    • I must admit, even growing up in mainstream America, the ALOHA my family had and shared is part of our rearing as a building foundation for 'ohana. Whether is was helping someone, sharing food, picking up oplala, reading a book to others or helping a kupuna; ALOHA was always fostered. At times, I wonder where the ALOHA has gone, but often go back to the source - our kupuna to help nurture the importance of being humble.

      Western influence can distract us from our heritage, however we as makua need to instill at all times what ALOHA stands for and how it is shown too. I think a little humbleness towards others is a step forward yet more is shared when their is a common element which is TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED!
  • We still embrace it and teach our children and demonstrate it as often as we can. The problem is that there are so many haole (foreigners and military people that are not raised that way and don't know what it is nor embrace it. It's overwhelming that people just don't exhibit it especially settlers from America and Asia or other Pacific Islands. To them this is America and they try to conduct themselves that way. Only the locals from the old days have that and the younger generation is losing it if it is not taught at home. Today, they equate aloha spirit with kissing-ass and doing something for something. All phony! They don't live it so how can they express it, eh? They have a wrong interpretation of aloha and the real spirit of it. They lack the empathy, compassion, consideration, respect, and the love of one another as persons.
  • So true Annie...my husband and I were just talking about his in these last few months. Much has changed in the last 30 years. There is so much selfishness when we need to be practicing selflessness in order to have the spirit of aloha. Next time you are out shopping - try see how many really help our kupuna and are mindful of their needs - try the entry door when the younger ones rush by and walk in the entrance before our kupuna as if they are invisible and not in need of opening the door for them or making sure the entrance mat corners are not flipped up to cause them to trip on their cane or wheel chair. I watched this happen once and saw the kupuna sad in their face feeling rushed out of the supermarket. He was caring for his wife in a cane walking slowly with a wagon. I fixed the mat before they got to the door and asked uncle if he needed help, he was smiling after I fixed the mat and said, ".... no I can do it from here but thank you so much for caring for us, not too many churin' do dat today..." I smiled but still helped with the door and asked God to bless them both.
    • Thanks to people like you the Aloha Spirit keeps going strong!:) My 3 children feel the same way as I do and they show example to their friends w/out knowing it. They are surprised and mention to me when their friends ask them why they helped someone, or if they know who that person is. The friends notice the positive vibes and want some too! I tell them "Good! Das how, plant the seed!"
      There are other places in the world that may have breathtaking scenery, good food, nice weather, awesome surf.
      But only in Hawaii, we get "Aloha". However, sometimes situations come up and we cannot help, but get frustrated, disappointed, angry.. HO! I know it gets nuts. Kinda like when you're swimming or surfing and get wiped out. you're under the water rolling around, holding your breath and have to get air. then when you finally come up and breathe air, ahh, you feel relieved. Aloha is like that breath of fresh air and if you try give or happen to receive some Aloha when you're down it just makes you feel a whole lot better.
      Mahalo nui for your mana'o and for helping to keep the Aloha Spirit strong! I've enjoyed our little wala'au too.
      ~ Malama pono!
  • Maika`i e Annie,

    I agree with you and it is very sad but I feel that "aloha" starts in the home...and our upbringing. It is sad to have to lock doors...which I don't...don't even know where the keys are to the house doors...:) My hope for my kids is that they will recognize the aloha spirit and understand why it is good to help others without expecting anything in return. If someone needs help..and we have it in our means to do so, we drop everything to do the job or whatever it takes. I was doing a talk on Kaua`i recently and someone asked the question, "How would you sell aloha" wow...can it be sold? I guess if it was a word printed on a post card but that is not aloha. It "is" how we treat each other. Living on the big island. we are networking since it is so hard times now...but we are blessed to have what we have and everyone is learning to enjoy the simple things in life. but we live in the country and this is where the aloha is easier to identify because it is "easy" to cultivate as we care for our land, the community, and culture. It is also kind of fun to become the aloha educator...and insure that it is instilled in the children. The Aloha is alive and well but we have to recreate it in our worlds so insure the spirit of aloha lives on...

    Mahalo,

    Momi
    • Mahalo Momi!
      I definitely agree with you on Aloha starting at home. Mahalo! I believe, our upbringing or lifestyle does play a big part in being able to live or give Aloha. Born and raised in the country myself, I believe I was a "privilaged character" because I learned a lot about life from such a virtuous lifestyle. As we cultivated the land, we cultivated our character. I only hope we will be able to preserve that lifestyle for future generations. Since there are less and less country homes on Oahu, it becomes even more important to preserve it's essence and not let it get drowned out by the modern attitudes. I deeply appreciate your words of encouragement to "become the aloha educator" and to know that Aloha is alive and prospering in your family and community.
      Mahalo nui.. (Aloha cannot be sold, it's worth is way more than gold)
      ~Annie
      • `Ae Annie,

        It is a conscious effort shared within a family, community, Nation that we can recognize and use it to our benefit if we truly understand the meaning of the word. Yes, I grew up in Kane`ohe at an amazing time when it was still "country" and I just recently went to visit and I it is not the same...The ko`olau mountain range once the stomping grounds for my friends and I are now forever scarred by a big cement Highway and it will never be the same again...it is hard for people to understand "aloha" with things like that going on all over the place. but education is the key to everything and I'm still educating myself on how things should be but I find in sharing aloha...we find their is much more aloha in this world then we thought...:) The relationships that are built on aloha have a way of radiating outward and it is contagious so we should continue to spread it and educate people on what it really is. A lifestyle.

        Mahalo for the great conversation...

        Aloha....Aloha.....Aloha...

        Momi
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